The Monster Massive
by ImComingHome
Summary: What happens when somebody doesn't want you the way you want them? An AU take on the Skins Camping Trip. Multi pairings. Mainly Emily/Naomi, Effy/Cook, Effy/Freddie, Freddie/Katie
1. Tequila Slammer's

The Monster Massive

Pairings: - Emily/Naomi, Effy/Cook, Effy/Freddie Freddie/Katie

Spoilers: - Episode 6 and onwards

Notes: - Emily/JJ never happened

Chapter one – Tequila Slammer's.

'Alright motherfuckers. Who's up for a little tequila tequila Cookie Monster Style?'

The loud, aggressive, egotistical teen shouted from the fallen tree log.

Emily Fitch watched as the group cheered and held out their plastic cups for another shot of the magical liquid that made you lose all inhibitions. Cook was really in the mood for a party tonight it seemed, and the rest of the gang, or 'The Monster Massive', as he liked to call them, were all too eager to follow his lead. Emily wasn't really in the mood though. She hadn't been all week.

She hadn't spoken to the breathtakingly beautiful girl who sat opposite her, carefully avoiding all contact, since the night the blonde decided to get up and walk away from her front door, with Emily's hand still dangling aimlessly through the cat flap. They hadn't spoken to each other since. The hot and cold trip was starting to wear thin and Emily was sick of being treated like a walkover. Her sister, her pervy brother, her friends and mostly she felt, Naomi, saw her as a shadow, a hanger-on, just someone who could be placed into a box and put aside whenever they didn't feel like putting an effort into spending time with her.

She sighed as Naomi looked her way, briefly locking eyes before swiftly turning her attention towards Cook passing the freshly rolled spliff. Emily wanted to tear her eyes away, but she was enthralled by the way Naomi pressed the joint between her lips, inhaling deeply before releasing the smoke.

Emily longed to take the place of that god-damn spliff. She wanted to be the one between Naomi's lips, being inhaled, making her way through the other girl's body and just becoming a part of her. She hadn't been able to get the memories of that day at the lake out of her head. The night Naomi took her virginity along with her heart. She had torn it out, stomped on it and gave it right back. Leaving Emily no choice but to try to put back the broken pieces and make it beat again, like it did that day. The best day of her 17 year old life. This was going to be a long night. This was going to be a long life.

Cook had suggested an all-nighter. A camping trip of sorts, but minus the tents. 'Tents are for pussies' he'd said earlier. 'There ain't gonna be no need for sleep when the Monster Massive are on a trip. In more ways than one', he had said, pulling a baggie out with little white pills.

Well he'd delivered on that Emily had to admit. Booze, weed and pills. Curtisey of Uncle Keith had gotten the dysfunctional gang well and truly on their way. It wasn't even 10 o'clock yet, and the group sat around the fire JJ and Cook had started and were having a 'fantastic' old time. Emily wouldn't consider them friends really, just a fucked-up group of people who had a few things in common. Mainly partying and shagging. The whole crew were there though. Effy, Pandora, Thomas, Katie, Naomi, Freddie, JJ and Cook. JJ was showing off his latest stupid magic trick to Katie, who was actually paying him some attention without her dickhead of a boyfriend around. She'd finally given him the boot and Emily was glad. Her sister never payed any attention to her when he was around.

Shaking her head, Emily glanced again at Naomi. She was laughing at something Cook whispered in her ear as he sat with his arm draped over Effy Stonem's shoulder. The magnificent doe-eyed beauty looked totally disinterested in Cook's little joke yet Naomi who claimed to hate the arrogant little prick was laughing up a storm.

A lump formed in the throat of Emily, jealous apprehension of what on earth had changed so drastically between Cook and Naomi that made them fucking BFF's. Last week he humiliated her during the school elections, and now they were talking in secret codes, probably laughing at the 'gay twin' and her stupid school-girl crush. "Fuck them", she thought. "Fuck them".

"I agree."


	2. A Friend In Need

Chapter 2 – A Friend In Need

Emily jumped and looked to where the voice had come from. Freddie stood above her, leaning against the tree stump, his hand casually stuffed into his jeans pocket.

"God Freddie. You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry Em, you just looked a bit out of it. Everything alright?"

Emily watched as Freddie made his way over and sat down on the log beside her. He sighed heavily and fixed his gaze on Effy and Cook on the other side of the fire. Emily had not been too caught up in her own troubles that she hadn't noticed the strange love triangle going on between Effy and the two teenage boys vying for her attention. She smiled unconvincingly before remembering he had asked her a question.

"Everything's fine," the red-head sighed, "Just fucking fantastic."

Freddie broke his gaze away from the love-birds opposite them giving Emily a know-it-all smirk. The kind of smirk that made girls go all swoony and goggle eyed for the skater boy. 'If only I could fall for him' she thought. 'It would be so much easier.'

"Yeah right Em. You've spent practically the whole night over here by yourself. You've nearly drank all the vodka, woman." He laughed and reached over to grab the bottle. Emily giggled and snatched the bottle back.

"Less of that grabby hands. I'm not in the sharing mood tonight."

The boy looked at her, getting her not so subtle hint that maybe she didn't want to talk.

"It's nice to see you smile Em. You should do that more often you know. You have a beautiful smile." Freddie ducked his head down shyly. Emily couldn't understand that he didn't realise how good looking he was. She supposed he was always too stoned to notice. She also didn't understand how Effy Stonem could be such a blind fool.

"Maybe you should take your own advice there Freddie." She jibed, watching as the boy's face fell. She followed his gaze over to where Effy and Cook were kissing heatedly by the fire. Everyone else was giggling and laughing at JJ's antics.

"Hey. Look she's a moron. She doesn't know you Freddie. If she did, there's no way she'd be all over him. They don't deserve you Fred. They both don't. You're a good person." Freddie's eyes glossed over as he took in what the redhead was saying.

"He has a hold over her. She's said all along she can't be with me because she's afraid she'll break my heart. But what she doesn't realise is that every time she's with him like that." He stopped for a moment, overcome with emotion. Taking a deep breath he carried on. "Every time she's with him like that, my heart breaks a little bit more." He shook his head and took a long swig of the vodka she had handed him. Coughing he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Emily didn't get how she'd suddenly become his shoulder to cry on, not the other way round, but selfishly relished the chance to get her mind off the constant thought of Naomi and their 'unrelationship.'

"I know what you're going through. And it fucking hurts." She took a sip of the vodka rapidly declining in volume. "It really does, and I wish I could give you some advice or even words of encouragement but I don't have any." She laughed bitterly, the feeling of the vodka now burning her throat, but ultimately dulling the pain in her heart a little. She turned to look at Freddie, who nodded his head.

"Well if you can't beat them, join them ey?" He motioned toward the plastic cup in Emily's hand, refilling the offered the cup, and then threw the empty bottle off into the distance. They both watched as it smashed loudly on the ground near the group, dangerously close to where Effy was straddling Cook.

"Oy, what's your fucking problem Freddie?" Cook stood up and shouted across the field. "Why are you even here? You got something to say, just say it" He challenged the boy, his voice rising in volume.

Freddie raised his cup and smiled humourlessly.

"Cheers".


	3. The Truth Hurts

AUTHOR NOTE :- Rated M for swearing, mention of drugs & sexual situations

Chapter 3 - The Truth Hurts

After the commotion with Freddie and Cook, JJ had suggested a game to try and ease the tension. He hated seeing his best friends fighting like this, was scared he might do something stupid and get locked-on. He hated those attacks more than anything. Emily had decided to help him out and offered up a game of dares. Cook had laughed that off calling it child's play. He wanted something juicy, so he came up with this stupid truth game.

Honestly Emily didn't think it was any less childish than dares but went along with it to try and integrate herself and Freddie into the group. She had a newfound respect for the balls he had shown throwing that bottle at Effy and Cook, but also was wary of the state of his mental well-being with him actually going through with the act. She thought him being alone was not the best idea at this moment in time.

The atmosphere was awkward and Emily could almost feel the air crackling. She had a weird feeling that what went down tonight could change the dynamics of the group altogether. She sat in the middle of the log with Katie on one side of her and Freddie on the other. Opposite them on the other log sat Naomi, with Cook next to her and Effy next to him. Pandora was situated on Thomas' lap on the blanket by the fire and J.J on the other blanket. She watched intensively as Cook attempted to stroke Effy's leg. His hand moved further up, and Emily felt Freddie tense up beside her. She put a hand on his and squeezed gently. Effy noticing the discomforted slapped Cook's wandering hands away.

Cook got up seemingly not noticing the situation around him. Or more likely, not caring. He rubbed his hand together. "Let's get this party started right, cocksuckers?"

"Yeah Cookie, this is a wizzer idea, I love party games", shouted out Pandora.

"That you do, weird girl that you do", Cook wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Pandora looked down, shyly, almost guiltily. Emily observed as Effy scoffed and shook her head while Cook leered._ 'What the fuck is going on there?'_ She wondered to herself, deciding to keep that one in her memory box for later.

"Right simple rules, we take it in turns to spin the bottle and we ask whoever it lands on a question of our choice and they have to fucking answer it. No messing. Got it? I'll go first." Cook quickly span the bottle and everyone watched, waiting for who it was landing on. Emily tried to focus on the label of the beer bottle, but the colours blended into one, until she could no longer read the writing. Yep she was fucking drunk. It stopped slowly on Pandora.

"A-Ha. Weird girl's first." Cook smirked at the blushing Pandora. Thomas grip on his girlfriend's hand suddenly got tighter. Cook seemed to notice this and laughed loudly.

"Ok, Ok. Is the myth true Panda? Is our African friend here hung like a horse?"

Everyone broke into fits of giggles at this, bar Freddie who seemed to have focused his attention on the vodka swimming around in his cup.

"Oh God Cookie, I don't want to embarrass him." Panda giggled. "We ain't even had surf and turf yet, but I got a good grip the other night didn't I Thomas?"

Thomas shook embarrassed, but Pandora didn't seem to notice his discomfort.

"Yeah he's got a right big one!" Pandora exclaimed, and then clamped her hand over her mouth. "Nearly gave TMI didn't I there Eff?" The younger girl asked her best friend.

"You certainly did Panda." Effy replied smiling at the girl, she'd grown to truly care about. Even if she did only hang around with her for the selfish reason that none of her boyfriends would go off with the dizzy blonde, because basically, she was useless. Or that's what she'd thought until she found out Cook had slept with Panda. That broke her illusions that everyone would chose her. Especially when it came to sex.

"Nice one Tommy-Boy" Cook leaned over and gave a high five to Thomas, who ignored the offered hand, while Panda shyly ducked her head into her boyfriend's shoulder. Emily smiled, she was glad Thomas had come home. He made Panda happy, and that she was thankful for, but there was something going on, she could tell. She thought the blonde girl needed someone, to let her be known she wasn't always going to be in Effy's shadow. Emily knew enough about being in the shadows.

"Effy it's your g-g-go." J.J nervously stuttered. He was another one seemingly head-over-heals for the leggy girl. There was a mysterious air to Effy that made boys fall in love with her. The girl observed, but rarely spoke. Just content to get high and have sex. Emily also related to the fact that basically we always want what we can't have. That desire for the unattainable was just human nature. Just look at her and Naomi.

Effy reached over and gave the bottle a spin, with almost no effort. She continued to smoke her spliff as the bottle stopped on Cook.

"How ironic babe. Did you fix that?" Cook laughed.

"Funnily enough no." Effy snapped at the boy quite aggressively.

"Alright keep your tits on." Shaking his head he muttered. "Women. Right what's your question?"

"Do you brag about all the shagging and the girls to compensate for the fact that you have an actual crayola dick?" The blue-eyed girl asked seriously.

The group again broke into laughter, this time Freddie perking up and smiling for the first time since the game started. Cook's face fell as gestures of pin dick were made between the gang.

"Bet your monster ain't that massive." Katie chipped in; relishing the fact she had something on him for once. He gave her the middle finger, but chose to ignore her otherwise.

"Umm, that doesn't stop you from jumping on it at every opportunity does it Peach?" The fair-haired boy challenged his girl. Effy just continued to stare intimately into his eyes, the way lovers only do and smirked. He smirked right back. "Thought not. Right Katie your spin."

Emily watched her sister lean over to spin the bottle. She hoped it didn't land on her, couldn't be arsed with stupid questions from her twin. But oh wait, no it was worse. It landed on Naomi.

The smug grin that formed over Katie's face was quite disturbing. Katie had been waiting for a chance to question the girls over what she witnessed on Pandora's birthday. Naomi looked quite worried too and chanced a quick, nervous look over at Emily. It would be okay though right, Katie had no idea really about the two of them. No-one did.

"Okay dyke." Katie smirked. "What's it feel like to finally get some muff-munching done with my sister?"

_'Oh Shit'_


	4. But lies worse

Chapter 4 – But Lies Worse

'Fuck, fuck, fuck' Emily watched as Naomi's face dropped suddenly.

"W-What you on about?" Naomi stared at Emily in desperation. The whole group had become silent, all somewhat stunned by Katie's outright question. They all had some suspicion, sharing knowing glances with each other, especially Effy and JJ, but now finally getting to hear the truth right from the horse's mouth was too good an opportunity to miss.

"You know what I'm on about muff-muncher. Answer the question." Katie pressed on. She wasn't going to let this one drop. She was drunk and high and wanted to embarrass the girls. They made her sick.

"She hasn't munched my muff or anyone else's." Emily spoke up, deciding to save the usually robust Naomi the embarrassment of being associated with her. She was lying through her back teeth, and even though it killed her inside, she just couldn't watch the girl's character being destroyed by her sister. "She's a cock-cruncher, right Naomi?"

Naomi looked down and nervously started to run her hands through the blades of grass near her feet. After a moment she answered. "What she said."

"Question answered. Let's move on." Cook spoke up, effectively ending the conversation. For once Emily wanted to kiss him and not kill him for taking the heat off of her and Naomi. Katie seemed satisfied enough with the answer for now, but she knew there was more to it than that.

The game continued on around Emily and she wasn't paying any attention. The lies on her tongue tasted even more bitter than the alcohol she was consuming. She felt a gaze burning into the side of her face, hot like the atmosphere that was building around the campfire. She looked up into a beautiful pair of blue eyes. Naomi mouthed a 'Thank you', ironically the first words she'd heard from her since she'd told her that she felt happier and not so alone around the red-head. More fucking lies. Emily was sick of lying. Lying to her sister, her family and friends. More-so she was sick of lying to herself. She shook her head, barely acknowledging Naomi's words. Wanting nothing more than to get up, get away from these people and run far away, till her lungs burned and the tears dried on her pale cheeks. But she couldn't. That would be too obvious. Everyone would know. Maybe she didn't care anymore. Maybe.

She focused her attention back to Cook. It was his turn again and the bottle had landed on Freddie. Poor, love-sick Freddie. Poor Freddie, who was so similar to her in so many ways. She felt for him, she wanted to protect him and his precious heart, but she couldn't protect herself or her own.

Cook looked deep in thought for a moment before turning to his ex-best friend. For a second it seemed like he wasn't going to say a thing. But that would be a pussy thing to do. And one thing Cook wasn't was a pussy.

"Freddie, my main man." Cook mocked.

"Cook, I'm bored of this now. Can we do something else?" JJ spoke up, desperately trying to intervene. He didn't want another situation to occur. He could feel another lock-on attack coming on.

"Shut it Gay Jay." Cook maliciously cut in. "Game ain't over till I've asked Frederick here a question." Freddie just carried on rolling his next joint, not even bothering to look up at Cook as he spoke.

"Do your worst Cook."

"Alright. Look at me when I'm talking to you Fredster." Cook wandered over to Freddie and squatted down in front of him. Emily watched with a nervous anticipation of what the 'Cookie Monster' was going to say. Effy too looked concerned for what was going to happen next, for once actual emotion being shown on her face. "Who are you really desperate to fuck? Effy or me?"

"Cook you twat." Effy shouted out. Her cool exterior being cracked by the audacity of the question.

"Shut up Effy." Cook waved his hand dismissively at her as Freddie got to his feet. Cook also rose, pushing himself forward suggestively up into the other boy's personal space.

"When are you going to grow up Cook?" Freddie pushed Cook aggressively in the chest, who just smiled back infuriatingly at him.

"When are you going to realise the fucking world doesn't revolve around you?" Freddie's voice started to rise now. "This isn't The Cook Show. We aren't just a bunch of puppets on a string for you to play with." He punctuated his statement with another push. "This isn't a game; this is people's lives Cook. People with potential like JJ. You're fucking ruining him Cook. Just because you don't have a future. You're dangerous. You're out of control." Another push. "You almost ruined me too, but I'm not going to let it happen. Look at me!" Freddie shouted into the other boy's face.

"Freddie come on let's just go" Emily tried to reason with the boy. It was getting out of control. She wanted to go home and sleep until everything was better again. "Please." She begged.

"No!" He screamed. "It's got to stop Em. He's fucking me up." Freddie sobbed. The tears now running down his beautiful face. Everybody's eyes were on him and Cook. This was what had been building, threatening to happen for weeks. He looked over at Effy. "He's messing you up too Effy. Why can't you see?"

"I'm already messed up" The make-up smeared, tear-stained girl replied.

"There mate, I ain't doing to her anything she doesn't want or need." Cook laughed provoking Freddie once more. "You probably couldn't get it up nancy boy."

That was it. Freddie swung his fist so hard and fast into Cook's nose, that no-one saw it coming until it was too late. The sound of his fist connecting with the other boys face was sickening enough but as he fell back into the log behind him, the sound of his head hitting with the hard wood reverberated around the silence of the field. Then the screams came, the shouts, the "Oh fuck, what have I done". The cries of 'call an ambulance', the sound of sobbing amongst friends and the hyperventilating of a boy who locks on. But the loudest of all, the footsteps of a frightened boy running away from his troubles, his life and the girl of his dreams.

"Freddie come back." Effy sobs. "Please."


	5. Why Are We Waiting?

A.N: - Thanks for the reviews! This chapter is rated M for sexual situations, swearing etc. The usual Skins stuff. It's a bit longer than the others!

Chapter 5 – Why are we waiting?

The commotion that had continued minutes after Freddie had left was frenzied and confusing. People were shouting, trying to get their voices heard and their minds around what had taken place on this mild Friday evening in the park, just after midnight.

Emily Fitch had been torn between wanting to chase after Freddie, make sure he was okay, and the well-being of Cook. Even if Cook was a wanker, the motherly nature she naturally embodied when it came to people in need had to make sure the boy was going to be okay. After phoning the ambulance she quickly sent Thomas and JJ after Freddie, and made sure Pandora and Katie got Effy home safely. The girl was in no fit state to go in the ambulance with Cook. So that had just left herself and Naomi to accompany him to the hospital. How appropriate.

Cook had started to come round in the ambulance, but the paramedics had told him he needed stitches for the cut on his head and to get his nose looked at, although there wasn't much that could be done for that. The awkwardness of the short ride to the hospital was pretty apparent to both the girls. Naomi had focused her attention just to the right of Cook's head, seeming somewhat fascinated at the description of the different antiseptics and medicines lining the walls. The girls were sat quite close together, the cramped space not leaving much room for manoeuvre and Emily could feel warm skin of Naomi's thigh pressed against her coloured nylon tight clad leg. The heat was scorching.

The thought caused Emily to blush, convinced that the occupants of the vehicle could tell what she was thinking. It was probably written all over her face. Cook hadn't spoken a word. Just stared off into space. Emily couldn't figure out if it was the concussion, or the boy's usual thick-headed expression. There wasn't much of a difference. She was relieved he was going to be okay, and also glad that Cook had made up an elaborate lie when asked how the injury was sustained by the paramedic. He hadn't dropped Freddie in it, when he so easily could have and although the paramedic knew he wasn't telling the truth, there wasn't a lot he could do about it, apart from get the young man treated and send him on his way.

When they'd arrived at the hospital Cook grunted that he wanted to go into the treatment room by himself, leaving Emily and Naomi to sit in the hospital waiting room. That was where the red-headed twin found herself now. She'd been watching the clock tick by on the wall for the past ten minutes. Naomi had busied herself keeping a close eye on the usual local yobs and drunken girls surrounding them at 12.30 am on a Saturday Morning in St Mary's Hospital.

"Fantastic." Naomi broke the silence, as aforementioned drunk girl had managed to narrowly miss her white pumps with the onslaught of vomit she had just aimed her way. "For fucks sake."

"I'm going to the loo. Won't be long." Emily just had to get away from Naomi. Still feeling slightly buzzed from the drugs and the alcohol, along with the uneasy feeling and the awkward silences was proving too much for the young teen to handle. Not waiting for a reply she leapt from the chair and ran into the nearby ladies toilets.

She leaned over the sink, looking at her reflection staring back through the glass. She didn't recognise the girl before her, even though she looked at her face all the time whilst getting ready. Her sister even had the goddamn same face to remind her. _'Who are you?'_ She shook her head and sighed. Leaning down to wash her hands under the tap, maybe she could wash enough of this grime away and find the real her underneath.

Emily jumped as the door swung open suddenly, startling her and pulling her away from her thoughts.

"Jesus Naomi." She breathed out. "What is it with people sneaking up on me?" She asked no-one in particular.

Emily looked concerned as she received no reply. In fact she was sick of the silent treatment. She was going to put an end to it once and for all.

"What the hell do you want? I think you've made it perfectly clear you're not interested in me. That you're a user. And well to be honest, I'm sick of the hot and cold crap. I've had enough. So this childish, stupid game can end here and we can at least be civil and hold a fucking conversation..." It had just blurted out. Once she started, she couldn't stop. The emotion overtook her and she successfully held back a sob.

The blonde haired girl stared back; shocked for a moment that shy little Emily Fitch had just come out with it like that. It kind of turned her on.

"I'm not." Naomi started. "I'm not using you Emily."

"Yeah, well it seems that way to me." Emily willed the tears not to fall this time. Naomi Campbell would not get the satisfaction of seeing Emily Fitch cry again, if she had anything to do with it.

"Well I'm not." She took a breath. "Everything I said to you on the porch I meant. You do make me a better person." She glanced at Emily. Finding strength in the fact the girl hadn't told her to fuck off yet. She stepped forward, getting into her space a little bit more.

"I'm just scared. Sc-"

"You're not the only one who's scared Naomi." The younger girl cut in. "I'm fucking terrified. I wish I didn't have these feelings. I wish that I could be normal. But I'm not. And I was willing to face that, with you, and you threw it back into my face."

"I need you." The blue eyed girl replied. "I can feel it so badly I can feel it burning me up inside." Naomi pushed Emily back into the sink so she was leaning heavily against it. She leaned forward and whispered into the stunned girl's ear. "You're inside me now and I can't get rid of you, no matter how hard I try to or how far I run."

She felt Emily shudder against her as she placed a hot, open-mouthed kiss on the soft skin of her earlobe. She sucked gently, hearing the low moan from the other girl clearly enjoying her ministrations. She was pulled from her task as Emily wrenched her away bringing her towards her waiting mouth. Emily felt a sudden flow of arousal as their lips parted and met, tongues pushing forward desperately. She swallowed a moan as their tongues started a tug-of-war in each other's mouths, both trying to gain control of the heated kiss.

'_This is how it should be'_ Emily thought as the kiss continued. _'I don't know why we fight it.'_ The heat was rising in the abandoned hospital toilets. Both girls were lost in each other, and Emily Fitch was literally getting the life kissed out of her. It felt amazing, wonderful, exhilarating. She felt that when they were alone together like this, the world couldn't get at them.

Alone being the operative word.

Both girls jumped apart as if they had been burned as the door swung open violently and a strange, dishevelled woman looked them up and down.

"What the fuck's this then?" The obviously drunk woman slurred. "Dykes, everywhere these days." She then turned obnoxiously and went into the available cubicle.

The look of horror etched across Naomi's face was enough to prepare Emily for what was to happen next. Tears streamed down the blonde girl's cheeks, as she struggled to breathe. "I can't Em. I just can't." She turned and walked out of the toilets, leaving Emily alone once again. Only this time she didn't bother to chase after her.

No, she was giving up on Naomi Eleanor Campbell once and for all.


	6. Midnight Rendezvous

A/N 

Rated M for sexual situations. This is my first time writing a smutty scene of any sort and I almost left this chapter out, but decided to go with it for the sake of the story ;) R&R please

Chapter 6 – Midnight Rendezvous

After a quick check on Cook, and with reassurance from the boy that he'd be fine, Emily wanted nothing more than to fall into a sleep so deep, she'd wake up and be the old Emily. The happy Emily before she'd ever set foot in college.

Not only was she feeling miserable, but checking her purse she realised she didn't have any money for a taxi, and it was lashing it down outside. The walk from the hospital took 20 long minutes, but finally, soaking wet and absolutely feeling sorry for herself she tucked herself up into bed at 1.30am.

Surprisingly, Emily managed to get to sleep straight away, even after the traumatic and eventful night she'd had. She had thought she'd be awake all night, replaying and over-analyzing everything that had happened. But no. She slept soundly. Until the sounds of something tapping against her window startled her awake.

She looked over at her digital clock blinking out the digits 3.17am. _'What the fuck?'_ Begrudgingly she got up and went to the window. The rain was still lashing it down outside, the drops running down her window pain. She was more than surprised to see Naomi there. Quickly she turned and checked her sister's bed, which was still unoccupied. _'She must have stayed over at Effy's.'_ Begrudgingly, knowing it was safe, she opened the window and let the drenched girl into her room. How convenient.

"How did you get up here?" Emily stage-whispered, not wanting to wake up anyone else in the house. Naomi pointed sheepishly out at the ladder leaning outside the ledge. Ahh yes, her dad had been fixing a leak on the roof earlier today. How convienient.

"Are you mental? It's throwing it down out there. Do you know how dangerous that is? You could ha-"

Emily was cut off by the force of Naomi's kiss. She pulled back quickly and opened her mouth to speak.

"Can we not talk?" Naomi begged. Drops of rain fell from her hair onto the warm and dry pyjamas of the redheaded girl. "Can we just be?" Her breaths were heavy with arousal. "Please."

Emily was stunned. She hadn't expected a visit in the middle of the night. But this was what she desired, what she dreamed about. It was clear to her what Naomi was offering, and she'd being dying to get the chance to repeat what had happened at the lake. It's all she ever thought about. She was torn though; she wanted Naomi so badly it hurt. So badly it hurt to breathe, walk, talk and it hurt to simply try and make it through the day without her. Yet on the other hand Emily just didn't know if her fragile state could handle another rejection. Another load of bullshit. Another morning to wake up alone feeling cheap and used.

Naomi leaned forward, shivering slightly from something other than just the weather outside. "Come on. I know you want this as much as I do." She placed her hands onto the bare upper arms of the redhead and began to move them up and down slowly causing Emily to take a visible deep breath and release the air slowly. Goosebumps began to rise under the skin being touched. Naomi caught Emily's gaze and stared back intensely. She could see the desire in the other girl's eyes. And boy was it hard to look away.

Emily launched herself forward unexpectedly and pressed her lips aggressively against the taller girls partially opened mouth. Naomi returned the kiss as best she could, but Emily was ferocious. Tilting their heads from one side to another, their tongues met in a passionate dance. Emily bit down on the other girls bottom lip hard.

"Fuck Emily" The blonde exclaimed before dipping her head down and capturing her lips with her own once more. Emily turned them around briefly and with strength she didn't know she possessed pushed Naomi up hard against her dressing table. _'Thank god Katie's stayed with Effy.'_ Naomi let out a sudden gasp of pain as her back connected with the edge of the table, but had no intention of stopping kissing the younger girl. She squirmed trying to reverse the situation so that she was in the one in control, but Emily was having none of it. And Naomi was quite enjoying the domineering side of the girl.

She let out a groan and lent her head back, further exposing her neck which was being nibbled, kissed and sucked aggressively by the extremely turned on redhead. "Shit, what are you doing to me?" Naomi whispered, causing Emily to stop and gaze into her secret lover's eyes. "Don't stop. Please." She begged. Emily's hands went to the zipper of Naomi's rain drenched dress and removed it before capturing the other girl's lips in an open mouthed kiss. She ran her hands all over Naomi's back, scraping her fingernails hard along the exposed flesh. She placed a thigh in between Naomi's tight-clad legs, encouraged by the blonde girls grunt at the friction.

The action seemed to spark Naomi back into life, as she too pulled off Emily's thin t-shirt, feeling the girl's bare breasts press into her own bra-clad ones.

"Oh shit" Emily whimpered as the rough material of Naomi's bra scraped across her own nipples. Her hands, now placed on Naomi's hips squeezed softly. "Take this off" She tugged at the taller girl's bra, then watched with hooded eyes as Naomi reached around to undo the clasp, releasing her breasts. _'God she's beautiful.'_

Not breaking the gaze Emily watched as Naomi leaned down slowly to capture her hard nipple with her hot, warm mouth. She felt like her heart was beating faster and slower at the same time. It didn't make sense, this whole thing didn't make sense but it felt so bloody good that Emily couldn't give that a second thought. She moaned lowly as she felt Naomi's tongue flick over her nipple then bite down softly. She squirmed and pushed her back onto the bed. She couldn't do what she wanted to do properly standing up.

Both girls wrestled with control kissing and touching each other all over. Emily finally managed to straddle Naomi's waist and placed kisses all over the upper-half of her body before working her way down. She slowly removed the blonde girl's tights and knickers before settling between her naked thighs. This was what had kept her going this last week. The memory of making Naomi Campbell, self-confessed cock cruncher, come more than once with her mouth. She wasn't going to waste the opportunity to do it again.

The first contact of Emily's tongue caused Naomi to moan loudly and thrust her hips almost violently up into her face.

"Shush you'll wake up my parents" Emily whispered whilst smirking at the helpless girl.

"Just don't stop. God!" Naomi moaned again as Emily continued to move her tongue over her, alternating between fast and then slow and then fast again until she felt Naomi's thighs grip tightly against her head. At that moment she sucked her clit into her mouth hard.

"Fuck, fuck." Naomi gasped. No boy could do it to her like Emily could. Naomi felt the orgasm build and build until it finally hit, devastatingly so, leaving her open-mouthed and gasping for air. She pulled the talented redhead up for a kiss, moaning heavily into her mouth. This felt good. No. This felt fucking fantastic.

"Don't leave me here in the morning." Emily broke away from the kiss and whispered softly. So softly and genuine and heartfelt that Naomi felt her own eyes gloss up. How could she have been such a bitch to the other girl? How could she have let her own fears and stupid insecurities hurt this sensitive soul, who spent her whole life getting hurt by others. She didn't need her piling on more pain and heartache.

"I'll be here." She leant over for another kiss before switching their positions, so that she was straddling Emily. "I promise. But don't even think of going to sleep yet missy because I'm nowhere near done." Emily wriggled her hips and let out a small laugh as Naomi tickled her stomach.

"In fact I'm not even started."


	7. Secret Smiles and Denials

A/N This chapter contains semi-spoilers from episode 9 if you haven't already seen it. Thanks again for the reviews 

Chapter 7 – Secret Smiles and Denials

The morning sunlight shone through the part of the window the curtains weren't quite covering, illuminated the two exhausted sleeping girls occupying the bed. They had Fallen asleep well after 6am after a night of making each other see stars time and time again.

Emily yawned and turned over, slowly awaking as she realised that she was pinned down by an arm across her waist. That arm belonged to Naomi Campbell. _'She's still here.'_She leaned over to tuck a stray blonde hair behind the girl's ear, causing Naomi to wake and smile beautifully at her. The doll-like redhead felt a surge of warmth and her heart started to flutter. She felt wanted and needed, not like the first time they slept together and even though she knew they still need to talk, optimism had started to fill her mind. A strange, new feeling to her.

"Em's wake up, you'll never guess who I shagged last night. Freddy and it was fucking aweso…"

A look of horror was painted on Katie's face as she stood in the doorway, having swung the door open loudly and took the scene in front of her in. Emily shot up in bed barely getting the chance to cover her and Naomi's modesty with the bed cover.

"What the fuck is going on? I knew you were a pair of dykes!" Katie erupted to the silent room.

"It's not what it looks like Katie." Naomi managed to get out, even though her face told a different story.

"Oh shut up test subject. You'd better get the fuck out of my house before I knock your teeth down your throat." The not so nice twin was furious at confirming her suspicions.

"Naomi please." Emily pleaded. She couldn't face Katie alone. Not when she was irate like this. "Don't leave."

Naomi was struggling to put her clothes on with as much dignity as she could muster. Thankfully Katie's gaze was fixed firmly upon her sister, not paying any attention to the embarrassed girl struggling with her dress.

"Em's this is between you two. Call me later yeah."

With that, she was out of the door without so much as a look back at the scene unfolding. She knew it was cowardly, but there was no way she was staying in that house with two fighting sisters. She climbed the stairs and was out of the front door in a flash, fully prepared to make the walk of shame home in her clothes from the night before.

Upstairs the twins were still in face-off mode. Emily was petrified of what was coming next. When Katie was in rage mode everything in her path could be destroyed from the whirlwind of emotions. That's why Emily was shocked and surprised when Katie finally spoke after a moment, she was eerily calm.

"Put your clothes on. I don't want to look at you." Katie spoke softly, punctuating every word.

Emily looked down, with a hint of shame, as she reached out to grab her t-shirt and underwear preparing for the onslaught that was about to come. Surprisingly it never did.

"Why couldn't you just tell me Ems?" Katie said, startling Emily after a long pause. She looked up to meet her sister's eyes and saw the shine of unshed tears that lay there.

"Why do you think?!" Emily surprised herself and her sister when she shouted back with anger she didn't know she possessed. "Seriously. You have given Naomi and I hell for a long time about this. And what? You wanted me to talk to you. You of all people?" She stopped for a moment. Taking a deep breath and watching the emotions play over her sister's face. She had hurt her. "You don't like gay people Katie. And that's what I am. Gay, Gay, Gay."

"You weren't before you met her!" Katie shouted back "You've just conjured up this thing with Naomi because, I don't know, maybe you're jealous of me."

"Jealous?" Emily asked incredulously.

"Yes jealous. Because I get more boys than you, I'm more popular than you and I look better in clothes than you." Once Katie was on a roll nothing could stop her.

"Fuck off" Emily couldn't believe her own flesh and blood was hurting her like this.

"Yeah I think so. You can't stand it. It's sad." The elder twin mocked, smirking at her sister. "So are you going to stop now before you hurt everybody?"

"Fuck off." Emily shouted back, this time louder.

"You're not gay, you're just stupid." That one stung. Emily was sick of taking her sister's bullshit. She'd had to put up with it the majority of her life.

"Right I'm stupid? I'm stupid because I don't let somebody _fuck _me when they're in love with somebody else?" The younger twin challenged back. She knew how Freddie felt about Effy, knew that whatever had happened between him and her sister was just a rebound.

"No. What?" Katie asked, the colour seeming to drop from her face.

"You let Freddie use you and it won't get you anywhere. You'll never have a normal relationship."

She walked across the room so she was standing in front of her sister. So close to the face that mirrored her own. All mascara stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes.

"You can make me feel dirty and cheap about Naomi but you sleep around Katie. You are, let's face it, a bit of a slag. If anyone should feel dirty and cheap its you, especially if you slept with Freddie last night after everything that happened."

Katie was in a stunned silence, which if you knew her, was almost impossible. But the girl just couldn't respond to the cold hard truth her sister was serving up to her. The good twin. The twin she loved, but couldn't understand.

"You can't control me anymore Katie." Emily turned to walk away from the damaged girl. They were all damaged goods deep down. The whole friggin' lot of them. "I'm sorry it has to be this way. If you change your mind, I'll be willing to talk."

"I, I can't Em's." Katie sobbed. "You're not supposed to be like this."

Emily shook her head sadly at her sister. She closed the door softly behind her leaving Katie to ponder her thoughts, feeling lonely and confused in the room they both shared. Katie had never felt so alone and she knew it was her own doing but everything would be ruined now. People would talk. She'd be associated with the whole gay thing. She didn't want any part of it.

She couldn't have any part of it.


	8. Higher than the Sky, Lower than the Rats

A/N Thanks for the reviews, you guys RULE. Anyways this is a short, more of a filler chapter. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 8 – Higher than sky, lower than the rats

Early afternoon was Freddie's favourite time of the day. It was the best time to get on the skateboard and clear his head. Didn't matter if he fell, didn't matter if he got hurt. That pain just reminded him he was real. He'd taken a tumble about 5 minutes ago, scraping his elbow along the ground, tearing the skin. He hadn't even bothered to wipe the blood away, content with watching the river of red flow down his arm and drop to the floor.

Hitting Cook last night had been a huge mistake. Letting the wanker get the better of him had only made him look like the stupid one. Like the stuff Cook had said was true. It wasn't. He only wanted Effy, but she didn't want him back, simple as that. She was attracted to things and people that were bad for her. She was self destructive and Cook just brought out that side in her. She would always choose Cook over him. Always. It was easier that way. Freddie was getting used to the idea.

Even so Freddie knew sleeping with Katie hadn't been the best idea but he was hurt and angry, and she came round to the shed last night letting him know that Cook was okay. He was glad of that. But she offered comfort and he had taken it, relished the chance to prove he was a man, and he could get it up and make a girl come. Now Katie had it in her head they were in some kind of relationship. He had supposed at the time it wouldn't be that bad of an idea, she was good in bed and beautiful to look at. Preferred her sister if he was honest, but he knew he was barking up the wrong tree there. He sighed and took another drag of his spliff as he stretched out in the sun.

"Want to compare war wounds?" A familiar voice sounded from above him. Freddie shielded his eyes from the sun to get a better look at Cook who was pointing at his bloodied arm. He was pretty banged up, but still smirking in that cocky way of his. Like he was a world beater.

"Not really." Freddie watched the other boy sit down and take a swig of the beer in his hand. He didn't look like he'd been home yet.

"Fine. Fine" Cook offered the bottle to Freddie who shook his head, declining the beer.

"Suit yourself." He took a long swig from the bottle, burped then chucked the remains to the side. Freddie shook his head and made to stand up and walk away.

"Wait a sec. I've got something to say to you." Cook shouted at the retreating boy.

"Don't want to hear it." Freddie dismissed. Cook jogged over as he started to walk away purposefully.

"She fucking loves you."

Freddie stopped in his tracks and turned to face the other young man, a look of disbelief etched across his features.

"What?"

"She loves you." Cook walked closer to the dark haired boy. "Effy. Fucking. Loves. You" He punctuated each word with a sharp prod to the other boys chest with his index finger.

"All that last night. Me running my fucking mouth was because I was pissed off about it. I don't like the feeling of being rejected." Cook tried to explain, but not apologise.

"She doesn't want me anymore." Cook explained to the shocked boy. "It's the way life goes for Cookie. People like to use him, like he uses them. I'm good at sex Freddie. It's what I do. But it doesn't last forever."

"Why are you telling me this?" Freddie shouted, feeling angrier and more confused than ever. "Why isn't she here herself telling me if it's true?"

Cook sighed for a moment pulling a cigarette from his back pocket and lighting it. He inhaled deeply and then released the smoke before continuing.

"She's fucking scared. She doesn't want to love you. She doesn't want to love anyone. That's why me and her get on so well." Cook smirked. "Truth is though I'm a scumbag. I'm on a scale with the rats. I like things mindless and so does she. And so does Panda it turns out."

"You're shagging Panda?" Freddie exclaimed with a disgusted look on his face. "What about Thomas? Do you not know the meaning of friendship you selfish prick?"

"Like you told JJ." He replied with a knowing look. "Cooky doesn't have friends; he just has people he knows." The other boy repeated Freddie's own words. "Yeah Jay told me that one, his mad pills make him tell the truth now you know. And I'm telling you the truth when I say Effy loves you."

"It's too late." Freddie cuts in. "It's too fucking late. I'm with Katie now."

"Fuck you work quick don't you lad? Last night you were crying over Effy…now you're fucking the evil twin." Cook spat out venomously before laughing loudly.

"Shut up." The dark haired boy said. "I don't want anything to do with Effy. And I don't want anything to do with you. So fuck off and leave me alone. Leave us all alone." This time when Freddie walked away Cook didn't chase after him. Freddie picked up the pace of his walk, heading to a house he'd only been to once before. He sighed when he got there, knocking on the door and waiting patiently for someone to answer.

Katie opened the front door, her face still red and it was obvious she'd been crying.

"You alright Katie?" Freddie held her as she flung her arms around his neck.

"Everything's a mess Fred." The redhead sobbed hysterically in his embrace. "Everything's a big fucking mess."

'_Ain't that the truth?_' He sighed and led her into the house, his arm wrapped firmly around her waist as he prepared to listen to her troubles. He'd have to deal with his on his own, push aside his own thoughts and feelings. Bury them so he didn't have to face them.

Yeah ignorance was bliss.


	9. Runaway, Far Away

Chapter 9 – Runaway, Far Away

She lay back on her bed, lighting up another cigarette and inhaling deeply. She wasn't used to the feelings she had been experiencing recently. She was actually feeling, she wasn't as numb, wasn't as empty and wasn't so emotionless. She fucking hated it.

Last night had been horrendous, but she kind of predicted it would be that way. Ever since that night Freddie had seen Cook in her bedroom she had known that the relationship between the best friends had been destroyed. She'd destroyed it. Why did everything she touch turn to shit? Every single thing.

Effy Stonem didn't often care about people's feelings, or how she affected them much at all. But ever since JJ had told her she had ruined everything, that she should leave them all alone, it had plagued her mind. She couldn't eat or sleep. She was getting thinner, starting to look a real mess. Her mum didn't notice much at all. Aloofness was her speciality, especially since her dad had up and left. The twat. Effy couldn't really blame him though, after all his wife had been shagging his boss. That must have stung a little.

Sex was the root of all evil. Effy had decided this. I mean, yeah it felt good, felt great in fact, but no matter what how you approached it, somehow feelings always got in the way. The exception to that of course was Cook. She didn't care for him much at all, but was unexplainably drawn to him. It was an attraction no doubt, and the boy could make her feel good all right, but most of all it was the danger. The risk. The not knowing who else he was sleeping with and what drugs he was high on. The way he couldn't give a flying fuck about anybody else, except JJ. He was so similar to her in so many ways. Effy only really cared about Pandora too. Yeah she was admired by boys and girls at college, but no-one took the time to get to know her. Like Cook, she knew the right people, had the best parties and got the best drugs. Everyone wanted to be her friend. Not for the right reasons though.

'_Self pity is so unattractive._' Effy let out a deep sighed and picked up her phone. She checked through her messages, finding unread ones from everyone but the one person she wanted to hear from the most. Freddie. Maybe he had finally given up on her. She hoped so. She'd only break him.

She looked over at the time. 8.35pm. The house was empty, her mum off working nights. Her dad, God knows where. It was times like these she missed Tony. But in a way she liked being alone. Effy was a watcher, a people observer and one thing she hated more than anything, was to talk.

She looked down at her hand and held it out in front of her. It was shaking. Saturday night and she hadn't had anything since last night, no weed or pills to calm her nerves. Effy was starting to think she might have a problem. Going through her phone again she noticed the latest message from Katie. She opened the text, curious as they rarely spoke on the phone, about anything at all.

'_Hey Eff's hope your ok after last night. Just letting you know, me and Freddie, we've decided to start seeing each other. Nothing serious, but just thought you should hear it from me first. I know you won't have a problem, since you don't want him and all. See you on Monday. X'_

Effy closed her phone and then threw it across her bedroom watching it shatter against the wall. Lifting a shaking hand to her face she felt the wetness of tears. She hated crying, she hated everyone, especially Freddie for making her feel this way. The lump in her throat and the knot in the stomach that she hadn't been able to get rid of since the day he had kissed her in the water. The day he had handed his heart over for her to possess. She just couldn't do it. It was far too much for a girl like Effy. A girl, who liked it mindless, liked it without feelings. Feelings were dangerous, feelings were scary. Maybe, she thought brokenly, just maybe she was attracted to that kind of danger too. But it was too late now, far too late to take back broken promises and fix shattered hearts.

She stood up and slowly walked over to where the remains of her phone lay. _'How poetic' _she mocked. She bent over to pick up the broken pieces, try to make them whole again, just like what she might need to do to fix her heart...

She turned, hearing the doorbell go. _'Who the fuck's this?'_ Walking downstairs, almost in a trance-like state, she opened the door. On the other side was a grinning boy with a busted mouth and stitches above his eye. He held out a duffle bag in front of her before speaking.

"You know then?" Cook said, taking in her dishevelled state.

"I know..." Effy replied, brokenly, barely above a whisper.

"Do you want to get away from here?" The fair haired boy asked. "They don't want us here. None of them do."

Effy looked down towards her feet, unable to look him in the eye for a second. She didn't want to go anywhere with him really. But what other choice did she have. Nobody cared about her. Even Panda had shagged Cook behind her back, and if her suspicions were justified, it had probably happened more than once. Cook offered a means of escape. And a fucking escape is what she needed right now.

"I've got some party favours for the road." Cook smiled and held up a little white bag full of pills. He paused then looked serious for a moment. "It's me and you babe. It'll always be me and you."

She looked up to meet his eyes. She saw the little glimmer of emotion there that she had never seen before. She closed her eyes and sighed, swallowing the lump in her throat and nodded her head slowly.

"I'll just get my stuff."


	10. I Want You To Want Me

A/N – I hope people are still reading! This chapter has the focus back on Emily/Naomi. Contains LOTS of bad language and some spoilers from episode 9. R&R

Chapter 10 – I Want You To Want Me

Naomi Campbell was starting to get worried. She hadn't seen Emily since Saturday night and it was now Monday morning. She had received a text from Emily a couple of hours after she had left the twin's house telling her the talk didn't go well, and that she needed time to think about what had gone on. She had said that she'd see her in college on Monday.

Naomi had been torturing herself ever since. Maybe she should have stayed and protected Emily from Katie's venom, but she thought she was finally doing what was best, by letting them sort things out alone. She hoped she'd done something right in all this mess. She was also shit-scared that Katie would out them to the whole college. She didn't think she could take that.

Truth be told Naomi didn't have a clue what to do or what to say about the situation she'd found herself in. All she knew for sure was that she wanted Emily Fitch so bad it hurt. No matter how much she tried to ignore it. No matter how much she tried to make the feelings go away. Swallow them like she swallowed the words that were dying to escape every time she saw the beautiful redhead. _'I want you back.'_

Now here she was in college, waiting outside English nervously biting the corner of her lip. Waiting to see if Emily was coming to class today. There was no Freddie, Cook, Effy or Katie either. She wondered whether she'd missed something. She sighed to herself, before heading inside and sitting down at the nearest empty table. Her heart leapt into her mouth when she spotted a familiar redhead coming in through the door holding hands with Freddie.

It wasn't the twin she wanted to see.

The glare she received from Katie was enough to kill her stone cold dead, if it could. Naomi shook her head, confused as she, and the rest of the class, wondered why the hell Freddie and Katie were looking all coupley. The teacher began the lesson as Naomi pretended to listen, but started jotting in her notebook distractedly_. 'Where the hell is Emily?'_

She didn't have to wait long, as Emily came rushing through the door five minutes later, muttering her apologies to the teacher and sitting down at the table opposite Naomi. She noticed both twins avoided looking at each other, as Emily rustled around in her bag taking out her notepad and pencil case.

Naomi again reverted back to her nervous habit of biting her lip as she willed Emily to glance her way. Her wish was granted as the redhead looked over at her, smiling softly, making Naomi's heart flutter behind her ribcage. She smiled back mouthing 'You ok?' Emily nodded slightly then looked quickly at her sister to make sure she wasn't watching them.

Naomi mouthed again 'What's going on there?' motioning her head towards Katie and Freddie joined hands resting on the table. 'Tell you later.' Emily mouthed back, turning her attention fully towards the teacher for the remainder of the lesson, not even glancing Naomi's way once more. Naomi knew this because she'd spent the rest of the hour staring at the beautiful girl.

The class ended and as usual the students rushed out as fast as possible, leaving Naomi struggling to pass them and therefore late to leave. Emily had gotten up and was first out of the door not waiting for a second so Naomi could have a word in between class. She fucking hated Mondays, they were the busiest days with classes running through till 4pm. She decided to leave it for now, and headed off to her next lesson, hoping to run into Emily at some point before the day ended.

That plan didn't work. Naomi couldn't find her at lunch. She didn't find her in the library. She hadn't replied to any of her texts and it was driving her out of her mind. She managed to get some information out of JJ and Pandora at lunch, them both explaining that Cook and Effy were missing, and apparently it had something to do with Freddie and Katie getting together. So much drama and bullshit, Naomi thought to herself. _'I have my own fucking problems.'_

She had found herself staying behind after 4pm in the college corridors, knowing that Emily had in fact not left the building. JJ had mentioned to her that Emily had a tutorial with Kieran at 4 and she knew the redhead well enough know that no matter how shit everything was, she wouldn't skip out on something that was important to her education, she had waited for her to come out.

Sure enough 20 minutes later the door swung open and Emily began walking towards her. Their eyes met in the deserted corridor. Naomi's heartbeat was rapid, beating relentlessly and her stomach was in knots. It wasn't as if she actually knew what she wanted to say.

"What are you still doing here?" Emily spoke softly, joining Naomi and leaning her back against the lockers.

"Oh you know. Just waiting for you." Naomi looked over at the girl standing next to her. "You been avoiding me Em?"

Emily had the good grace to look sheepish at the question, choosing to gaze down at her feet and sigh deeply.

"N-No." Naomi gave her a know it all look and Emily hastily backed down on that admission. "Well sort of I guess. I just wanted some time to think."

Naomi's brow furrowed as she pondered the statement the redhead had came out with. She wanted time. What the fuck did that mean?

"But _you _were the one pressuring me into giving you answers Emily. You wanted to talk, before Katie caught us yesterday. I don't know what you want me to do!?" The emotion in Naomi's voice caused her to crack on the last word.

Emily sighed, knowing that Naomi was right in a way. But there was no way she was going to admit it.

"I want you to want me back." Emily shouted at the blonde girl, her voice echoing around the empty hallways. Naomi looked around making sure no-one was around to hear her shout.

"That's your goddamn problem." Emily stepped forward into Naomi's face. "You're so fucking scared people will find out. I mean what _are_ you actually scared of? They already know Naomi. Even Effy in her drug-hazed fucking state has her suspicions. They don't care." She shouted the last words loudly and stepped further forward, causing Naomi to push her back into the locker. Emily stopped shocked for a second before pushing forwards, again stepping into Naomi's personal space.

"Hit a nerve did I?"

"Shut up" The blonde said evenly.

"No I won't." Emily replied, her voice wavering with emotion. "I've shut up all my life." She looked pointedly at Naomi, who dropped her eyes to the floor.

"I have to deal with Katie every single day and yes she's a fucking bitch, but she's my sister. And I'm willing to sacrifice everything I have with her for you." Tears spilled from the redhead's cheeks. "She hates me. She actually hates me. You're such a coward Naomi. And for someone so intelligent you can be a fucking idiot. You make me want to hit you sometimes because you can't see how perfect we are together." She pushed half-heartedly at Naomi as she tried to encircle her in her arms.

"Don't touch me." She breathed out a sigh and tucked her hair behind her ears. "I've run out of ways to say this to you now. You know how I feel, I've told you countless times and yet you still keep turning your back. So why don't you just leave me alone?" She moved away from the lockers and made to walk away from Naomi once and for all.

Naomi now started to realise what Emily must have felt all those times she had walked away from her. Every time she had turned her back on the porcelain doll before her. How could she have done that? Even on Saturday when she had left the twins to their own devices, it had been more out of selfish need to get away than really considering Emily's feelings. Well she wasn't going to let her walk away now. She pushed the redhead against the lockers forcefully stopping her movements.

"I can't take this." Naomi said breathlessly before pressing her lips against the other girl's with as much strength as she could muster. Emily struggled at first but then responded, opening her mouth to let the blonde's tongue stroke her own. The kiss was passionate but short, as Naomi broke away and placed her head against Emily's.

"I can't." She spoke through heavy breaths matching the other girl's.

"It's okay." Emily reasoned and then leant back in to press her lips against Naomi's.

"I'll try to be better." Naomi broke the kiss after a moment. "Is that enough for you?"

Emily just looked at the girl before her. It was in her nature to forgive too easily, but she didn't want to deny herself an opportunity to just be with Naomi, no matter how small it was. Naomi just knew that she was a better person when Emily was around.

"It is for now..." Emily spoke after a moment. Naomi flashed a teary grin at the other girl before gathering her into her embrace. She stroked her red hair softly, feeling rather than hearing the other girl sigh against her. She knew this wasn't going to be easy, and that they were going to struggle. Naomi was in no means ready to jump into a relationship with Emily, but she just hoped against hope that trying would be enough.

"Let's get out of here."


	11. Dirty Little Secret

A/N – Bit of naughtiness coming up.

I've gotten 15 chapters of this story written so far, but I've been suffering with writer's block recently so until I get that sorted updates will be less frequent.

Thanks for the reviews =]

Chapter 11 – Dirty Little Secret

"Oh god right there, don't stop, please." She breathed out into the empty room. She tugged at the hair of the girl whose ministrations she was enjoying.

Emily Fitch had come to the conclusion over the past 3 days that Naomi Campbell gave great head. They'd come over to Naomi's house after college about half an hour ago and found it empty. They kept up with the pretence that they would do their homework in front of the TV, but after about 15 minutes of teasing and not-so-innocent touches, Naomi had hiked up Emily's mini skirt and got down to business, so to speak.

"What if someone comes home?" Emily managed to stutter out. "Shouldn't we go upstairs?"

Naomi looked up from between Emily's thighs, incredulous that she actually wanted her to stop.

"Mum's at work till 7, we've got ages." Naomi smirked at the dishevelled red head on the couch. "Now are you going to let me finish what I started?"

"Fuck yeah." Emily replied as the blonde girl returned to the task at hand. She sat up slightly, choosing to watch what Naomi was doing to her with her talented mouth. Naomi teased, not quite giving her what she wanted, but doing enough to make her feel good. Really good. After a few moments of teasing, she lifted one of Emily's pale legs over her shoulder and placed her open mouth over her. She sucked softly, causing the girl's hips to buck, allowing her to get more of her in her mouth.

Naomi moved two fingers to the entrance of Emily's slit and pushed them inside while continuing to move her mouth over her. Emily's moans were getting louder and louder with every thrust of the blonde girls fingers inside her. She felt dizzy, feeling as though Naomi was everywhere, her breaths coming harsher and faster as she approached her climax.

Naomi could feel Emily's walls closing around her fingers, and felt for the spot she knew was there somewhere. Her jaw was starting to ache, but she ignored it, and flicked her tongue faster against Emily. At the same time she curled her fingers upwards, feeling for that spongy spot inside the girl as Emily cried out in pleasure. _'Gosh, that's new'._ She shuddered as the orgasm hit, and continued for a few seconds, until she relaxed and lay back against the sofa, breathing hard. Naomi came up from her position on the floor and took the redhead into her arms.

They'd had a lot of sex over the past 3 days since that day in the corridor. Emily had spent 2 of the 3 nights over at Naomi's house, not wanting to go home and face her sister. She'd only gone home last night because her parents were worried. They had noticed the tension between the sisters and it was only a matter of time before they'd find out the truth. It was bad enough having to see Katie at college, watch her fawn all over Freddie like he was her new toy, without having to watch it happening at home too. Apparently Freddie had been spending a lot of time at her house. With Effy's disappearance, Katie had quickly become the new Queen Bee and it hurt Emily so much that her twin was barely acknowledging she was alive. That's why she had to seek refuge at Naomi's, finding comfort in the form of sex with the beautiful blonde girl.

But Emily was worried. They hadn't discussed exactly what they were, nor had they told anyone about what was going on between them. Emily had been all too happy to be with Naomi, in some shape or form, that she hadn't wanted to bring up the topic again with her for fear of scaring her off. She didn't want this to be some dirty little secret or just become a pair of fuck buddies. Yes she loved fucking Naomi. She couldn't get enough of it. But she didn't want that to be all they had.

She sighed and pulled her skirt down, feeling exposed, even though Naomi had seen her naked plenty of times. Naomi watched the action, and started to laugh softly.

"Bit late for false modesty babe." Naomi teased the blushing girl. Emily still felt so shy around the blonde, even now, and she ducked her head down before replying.

"No, shut up." She reached over, whacking Naomi with a cushion and they both started laughing. When they had stopped, the blonde reached over and pulled Emily into her arms again. They stayed that way for a while, content just being with each other and not feeling the need to speak. Emily opened her mouth to say something, ask Naomi why people couldn't just know about them, why they couldn't just be themselves, but thought better of it.

"Want to go upstairs?" Naomi wiggled her eyebrows at Emily in such a silly fashion that she couldn't help but laugh. A surge of arousal ran through her body at the suggestion and found herself nodding her permission.

"Come on then." Naomi stood up and pulled Emily up with her. She followed the other girl up the stairs, with a nagging feeling that something just wasn't quite right.

They lay together in Naomi's bed, Emily on the left side as usual. She smiled, thinking what a mess they must look like, taking in Naomi's smeared lipstick and smudged make-up and knowing that she probably had it all over her own face too.

"What you thinking?" Naomi asked, honestly wanting to know what was going on in the beautiful girls head.

"Oh you know just how cute you look with sex hair." She reached over and ruffled Naomi's hair, giggling. The other girl tried to move away, not enjoying the attention she was getting and they both laughed, just content being with each other.

Emily's warm brown eyes locked onto the sea blue of the other girl's. She took a deep breath before speaking. _'I'm probably going to regret this.'_

"Naomi, I want to tell people."

"That you're gay?" She shook her head.

"I want to tell people about us." Emily said, before she lost the courage to. "Come to the college ball with me?" She added hopefully. "Like we're together"

Naomi didn't even stop to think about her answer. It came out, in a flat monotonous tone of voice.

"I'm not going to do that." Came the automatic reply and then she turned over facing the opposite wall.

Emily looked at the girl's back, shock quite clearly written all over her face. '_Why is she so insistent on keeping this a secret? Is she that ashamed of me?'_

"Why not?"

"Em it's nobody's business."

"Why? Who cares what other people think?" The redhead questioned.

Naomi rolled over in the bed, pulling the covers with her.

"Why do you keep pushing me Em? It's just a stupid fucking college ball. I mean, you said you'd give me time to try. To get my head around this. I'm not sure like you are." The girl exclaimed.

"Fine, you like boys too." The redhead replied.

"Maybe. Maybe I only like boys apart from you." Naomi looked to the ceiling. "Anyway it's not like that."

"Then tell me what it's like?" Emily replied. "Please. You're hurting me." Naomi had the good grace to look down guilty at Emily's admission. The redhead leaned down to put her top and skirt on, doing anything to avoid the blonde girl's eyes. Running a shaky hand through her hair, she continued.

"I just want you to want me the way that I want you. Can't you just do that?" She asked brokenly.

Naomi closed her eyes. She couldn't look at Emily when she was in a state like this. It made her want to comfort her. Take her in her arms and tell her everything would be okay. But she just couldn't do that. Instead she stayed silent, listening to Emily take in harsh breaths to steady herself.

"Can't you just let yourself want me Naomi?" Emily knew it was a desperate attempt. Her final throw of the dice.

The silence in the room was almost tangible, until Naomi broke it whispering out four words.

"I'm not like you."

Those four words stabbed at Emily's heart like a knife in the dark. They echoed harshly around the silent room. She felt sick, felt as though everything she had hoped for, everything she had ever dreamed had been shattered. Shattered by someone who just didn't love her back. Someone who didn't want her enough. She swallowed, nausea rising up in her stomach.

"Don't do that." Naomi sat up in bed, but didn't move to get out of it.

"No _you_ don't do that. I'm not your fucking experiment." Emily searched around the room frantically. "Where are my fucking shoes? Oh fuck it keep them."

Emily walked to the door, grabbed her bag then turned to speak to the other girl once more.

"I'm tired. So sick and tired of it." She paused for a second, giving Naomi a chance to respond. She didn't. "Still holding hands through the cat flap aren't we?" She turned and walked out of the door, leaving Naomi stunned.

By the time she had realised she needed to chase her, needed to fucking get her stupid legs moving so she could try and explain herself properly it was too late. She was too slow and Emily was fast like lightening. She was across the hallway, down the stairs and out the front door before Naomi could even find her voice to tell her to wait. She'd even left her fucking shoes and jacket in the hallway. Naomi opened the front door, intent on calling out to Emily, to get her to stop but she was already gone.

The tears came then. Flowing down her cheeks like rivers, dripping down onto the hard wooden floor beneath her feet. She leant heavily with her back to the front door and slid down to the floor. She'd been in a similar position to this before but this time there was no one on the other side to hold her hand. To just be with.

It was all her fault.


	12. Who Needs Shoes When You've Got Love?

A/N :- Thanks everybody for the reviews!!

Chapter 12 – Who needs shoes, when you've got love.

It was always so extremely cold in England. Thomas couldn't understand it. 3 coats he was wearing and yet the chill of the night air still invaded his body through the many layers. He hated waiting for buses.

Well he didn't when he first moved here.

At this very bus stop he had met an innocent girl who liked donuts. He loved donuts, and he eventually fell in love with the girl. And now, now she had broken his heart. Now she was no longer innocent. She was tainted. Because of Cook.

He pulled his coat further around him, as his thoughts darkened. He noticed someone slightly to the right of bus stop. A girl, shivering and shaking in the cold, sobbing hysterically. He looked up to see the familiar red hair. Was it Katie? He doubted it. No it was Emily. Thomas forgot his own troubles for a moment, wanting to find out what was the matter with the girl. He walked over.

"Hi Emily." He spoke softly to her placing his hand on her shoulder.

She turned around, seeming a little startled at seeing someone she knew at this time of night. The last bus was never on time.

"Umm ok…hi." She replied quickly, embarrassed, but also a little relieved to see a familiar face. Thomas smiled at her briefly before looking down at her feet.

"Emily, where are your shoes?" He was extremely concerned about the state of mind of the freezing girl in front of him. She looked like she was having an awfully tough day. _'Aren't we all?'_

Emily also looked down, as if she hadn't even noticed that she wasn't wearing shoes. Even on such a horrible night.

"I, uh, I dunno." She replied distractedly, trying to stop the tears from falling. "I couldn't find them."

Thomas looked at the girl for a second. Her hair was a mess, her make-up smudged from crying, she looked freezing cold. His heart ached for the girl stood before him. She looked so broken.

"Well you can wear mine." He bent down to remove his trainers as Emily protested.

"No you don't need to."

"It's Okay." He stood up and handed her the shoes, smiling encouragingly at her as she gratefully accepted them.

"I don't mind bare feet. It's easier to run." Thomas explained. Boy did he want to run. He wanted to run far away from this place, far away from Pandora and he wanted to take Emily with him, away from whoever had caused her so much pain. There was too much heartache in this place. He didn't like it here anymore. He wanted to go home.

She smiled tearfully at the African boy before placing the shoes on her feet. The numbness she had felt before was starting to wear off, and there was a dull throbbing pain shooting up her legs. God she was such a mess.

"Here let me give you a jacket." The boy started to remove one of his layers, suddenly feeling a little selfish and ungrateful for wishing he had more.

"No, really Thomas." Emily thought he had done enough. She knew how he always complained about feeling the cold.

"It's fine." He insisted. "I have 3 coats, see?" He opened one to show her, letting out a small laugh which Emily returned for a second before the tears started to flow again. His kindness was too much for her. And as he wrapped his coat around her shoulders she realised what a state she was really in. Her teeth begin to chatter, and she couldn't tell if it was from emotional exhaustion or the night air. Maybe it was both.

"Now all fixed up, yes?" Thomas asked innocently. That was it. Emily shook her head sadly. She was nowhere near fixed up and as she leaned forward, breaking down entirely Thomas realised he had said the wrong thing.

"What do you do if someone you love lets you down?" She asked. "Really fucks you over?"

'_Ahh, what a question.'_ Thomas thought briefly. He knew that feeling oh so well. Being let down was becoming a bit of a habit for him. He looked into Emily's eyes, pondering what to say next. He said the first thing that came into his head.

"You must try to stop loving them." He replied, knowing it sounded stupid. It was wishful thinking, and impossible he knew, but it was what he wanted to do.

Emily shook her head, but asked almost hopefully.

"And is that possible?" Thomas smiled sadly and looked away for a moment. He knew that it wasn't possible. Not really. But how he wished it was.

"No. I don't think so." He said to the crying girl.

He wanted to know what had happened to the girl, but he was too polite to ask outright. That was not how he was brought up. He watched as Emily sighed in defeat, knowing that wasn't the answer she wanted to hear. She leant her head back and looked to the sky. Thomas thought that maybe she was looking for answers from God above, but he did not think she was a holy person. She sighed deeply, composing herself a little before speaking.

"I'm gay Thomas." Emily looked into chocolate brown eyes, searching for a hint of disapproval. She found none. Thomas already knew. He would have to be blind not to. And he did not care. Not one bit.

"It's fine." He said dismissively. "Shall we call a taxi? I don't think this bus is going to come soon." Emily looked back at him. It was that easy. For Thomas it wasn't even an issue. Sure she wasn't naïve enough to think that everyone would react that well. They wouldn't. But their friends wouldn't mind, most people didn't care enough. They all had their own problems. _'Why can't Naomi just see, it is this simple.'_

Thomas looked around, shuffling from side to side.

"And besides, my feet are extremely cold." He smiled at her. His kindness and his acceptance broke down the tiny bit of herself she was keeping together. Heartbroken, cold and exhausted she collapsed into Thomas' arms sobbing as they huddled together to wait for the taxi.

They got out at Emily's house, Thomas' flat only a short walk away. He walked her to the door and encircled her in a gigantic hug once more. All the way home he had let her sob into his chest in the back of the taxi, whispering comforting words, trying to make the poor girl hurt less.

"Here's your shoes back." Emily spoke softly as she bent down to take them off. "And your jacket." She shrugged it off her shoulders. Thomas smiled encouragingly at her.

"Thank you so much Thomas. For just being there." The redhead said gratefully. She was just so thankful he had been there in her time of need.

"It's okay Emily." He said. "It's what friends do yes? Or at least what they should do." He looked away sadly, his own pain coming back to him briefly. Emily nodded silently. "I'll see you soon Emily." Thomas turned to walk away, and Emily watched before shouting him back one last time.

"Who do you want to stop loving?" The now much calmer redhead asked. She didn't have the graciousness of the African boy, in terms of politeness. But she meant well.

Thomas stopped walking and looked down to the ground sadly. He turned around and met her gaze. "Pandora." He said simply.

"What happened?"

"She, she." The boy stopped, the emotions written so obviously across his face. "Her and Cook." A look of realisation came across Emily's face. She watched as he started again, but was unable to find the words. He shook his head slightly before simply saying. "She makes my heart hurt."

Emily nodded her head, immediately understanding what was going on. His broken sentence hitting home. She knew that goddamn feeling all too well.

"I'm sorry." She said sympathetically.

"Don't be." Thomas interrupted. "I am not. At least now I know."

Emily nodded, but couldn't help but think that he was sorry. How could Panda do something like that? And with Cook, that fucking wanker.

"Goodnight Emily." There was nothing left to say.

"Goodnight Thomas." She turned and went inside the house closing the door as quietly as she could behind her, not wanting to wake up the rest of the house.

Thomas pulled his coat around his shoulders and once again turned and began the walk home. He wished that he could stop loving Panda, but he couldn't. He wanted to hate her, but it was not in his nature. _'Tomorrow will be better.'_ He thought to himself. _'It has to be.'_


	13. Tweedledee and Tweedledum

AN Hey guys. This is more of a filler chapter, but hope you still enjoy and review. Thanks so much for the reviews already.!!!!

Chapter 13 –Tweedledee and Tweedledum

She regretted the way she'd acted the other day but she just can't believe she would do this to her. Everything's started going right and she goes and cocks things up. Her and that fucking experiment. People will talk when they find out she's a rug-muncher and who are they going to lump in with the losers? Her sister of course.

Katie loved Emily, of course she did, but she loved being the one in control. That's how it'd always been. Katie was the popular one and Emily was the quiet one. Katie had always relished being in the limelight.

That's how she wanted things to stay.

She had Freddie, he was popular too and now that Effy was out of the picture she was starting to rule the college. And she fucking loved it. Deep down she knew Freddie would never want her as much as he wanted Effy and god did that hurt, but she'd put a brave face and soldier on. It was worth it. It wasn't like Katie was in love with the boy; it was pretty obvious that it was a relationship of convenience. Ok, a week didn't exactly count as a relationship, but that's what she was calling it. But for once, just once, Katie wanted to feel like she was wanted for who she was, not just because she was an easy shag, or a claim to popularity. It's what she'd come to expect though by now.

Emily turning gay didn't fit in with Katie's master plan. There was no way she was going to let Naomi steal Emily away from her. She needed her. Katie was a part of Emily and Emily was a part of Katie. The relationship worked as it stood now, for both of them. And why Emily would even choose her over Katie was a mystery to her. _'For gods sake all she does is make her miserable.'_ She'd heard Emily come home last night crying in her sleep. It hurt to hear her sister so choked up, but she couldn't comfort her, they weren't even speaking and Katie was far too stubborn to go back on her word.

That was why Katie had cooked up an awesome plan. She had been rooting through Emily's wardrobe picking out something she would wear when she heard Emily's phone go off. Emily had gone to college early, Katie not having classes till the afternoon and had left her phone behind. Katie had found 4 unread messages from Naomi begging her to meet her at the café. _'Probably trying to worm her way back in, with her false lesbian promises.'_ Katie had felt no guilt when she had text back with a time for the meeting, with every intention of finishing this goddamn freak show. After all she was only trying to help her sister, wasn't she?

She made her way over to the café, nearly turning back on more than one occasion, not sure whether she'd be able to go through with it. But she knew it was for the best. They could get on with life. She could be back in control, where she knew what was going on. Katie was bloody nervous though, not knowing how Naomi would react. She ordered a hot chocolate from the counter and then found an empty table to wait for the blonde girl.

Katie didn't have long to wait. Five minutes later Naomi burst through the door and a look of contempt spread across her face when she saw which twin was waiting at the table for her.

"What are you doing here?" She spat out viciously. Naomi turned to walk back out of the door she had just come through.

"This won't take long." Katie called out to her, causing the other girl to turn back around to face her. "Believe me. Are you gonna sit down?"

Naomi looked at the door for a second, wanting nothing more than to get the hell out of there, but something in Katie's face was challenging her, and Naomi Campbell did not wuss out when it came to facing her enemies. She dropped her bag on the floor and sat down heavily on the seat facing Katie.

"Where's Emily? Was that you on the phone?"

"She shouldn't leave it lying around." The older twin replied quickly.

"So…?" Naomi questioned.

"Oh that's the thing." The elder twin was starting to put her plan into motion. "She didn't want to face you, so, I came in her place." Katie lied through her teeth.

"Don't believe you." Naomi challenged back crossing her arms and looking extremely bored.

"Believe what you want." The redhead said. "I'm here to tell you something. From Emily and from me. She's mine."

Naomi looked shocked at what came out of the other girl's mouth. She struggled to come back with a reply.

"She can't help what she is Katie. Neither can I." She shot back.

"Yeah? You hurt her and now she doesn't want you."

"That's not true." She began.

"Oh it is true. Emily will always be mine. She's my sister. I'll love her more than you ever can."

Katie stood up and then spoke.

"I heard her last night you know." She looked into the other girls eyes. "She cried all night. You're making her ill Naomi; she can't even eat or sleep."

Naomi looked down at the table guilty, picking up the salt shaker and playing with it nervously.

"She's not the same because of you. It's all your fault."

"Bu…" The blonde girl tried to defend herself, but she believed most of what Katie was telling her was the truth.

"No. Naomi I think it's best for all of us if you go away." Naomi brought her eyes up from the table and swallowed visibly. Katie had her right where she wanted her.

"Why are you so horrible?" Naomi whispered brokenly.

"Leave. Her. Alone." She punctuated each word, somehow making them more meaningful and intimidating. Naomi nodded her head slowly, more to herself than to anyone else.

"Now if you'll excuse me I've got dresses to buy for the ball. You _won't_ be there." Katie moved to stand up, before leaning down slightly to whisper into her ear.

"Because if you are you'll regret it." She flashed a smile at Naomi, glad that the other girl seemed to have come around to her way of thinking. She swung the door open and took a deep breath before walking away, leaving Naomi with her own thoughts at the table inside.

'_That was harder than I thought it would be._' Katie thought to herself. She wasn't completely heartless and seeing the distraught look on Naomi's face was almost enough for her to stop what she was doing and leave them alone. But no. This had to be done. It was for the best. The best for Emily. The best for her family. At least that's what she was telling herself to keep her conscience clear.


	14. Release Me

Sorry for the wait. I don't like this chapter but it's necessary to link the events of the story together. Hope you guys like it.

Chapter 14 – Release Me

End of year Exams were plentiful in the final week of college and Emily was amazed she had found herself even able to concentrate. Effy and Cook were still missing and no-one had seen or heard anything from them for 2 weeks. No wonder after what they had done to their friends it would surprise her if they ever came back at all. She hoped they were okay though, wherever they were.

Emily had her last English exam today and then that was it. First year of college would be over. A bloody miserable first year for most of it. It had been a weird week. Naomi had been avoiding her at every single opportunity. Okay that wasn't weird, it was a regular occurrence, and Emily had decided that she wasn't chasing after her anymore. At least the holidays were approaching and there wouldn't be anymore awkward glances in the corridors.

The actual weird thing was Katie being nice to her all week. Emily had come home from college last Friday to find Katie doing the washing up, which was Emily's chore. She'd also tidied up their bedroom. Katie had apologised for the way she had acted about Naomi and wanted things to be okay between the sisters again. She had promised to be less controlling and stay out of all aspects of Emily's relationships. Reluctantly Emily had agreed to the truce, thinking that anything was better than the frosty atmosphere in the Fitch household. And with her and Naomi finished, the attention and pleasantness from her sister had been too much to deny.

They'd gone out as a family that weekend, the whole lot of them, and seeing the look on her mum and dad's faces at the twins finally getting along had been enough for her to realise how selfish she'd been lately. She had been so absorbed with Naomi that she'd been neglecting the whole family, and isolating herself from them. At least in this house she was loved.

Yeah she was still bitter over the whole Naomi issue, but could you blame her? And all everybody had been going on all week was the bloody college ball. She wasn't going. Nope she was going to spend tomorrow night eating chocolate and watching her Sex in the City DVD's. Lush. She sighed to herself before heading in to the hall to take her exam. _'Let's get this over with.'_

Later that afternoon Katie came bursting into the twins rooms excited and animated.

"I've got a wicked plan." She blurted out. Emily didn't look up from her magazine.

"No seriously Em's." She wrenched the magazine out of her sisters hands, who started to protest.

"Listen." Katie begged. "We're going to the ball tomorrow."

"No you're going to the ball tomorrow. I'm not." Emily shook her head

"Yes you are." Katie tried to convince her. "Look it's all sorted. We'll go together yeah? Matching dresses, hair, make-up the lot. We'll get trashed before we go. Everyone will think we look amazing and they'll all be talking about us. It'll be wicked."

"Nope. No way." The redhead shook her head. "It's not happening Katie. It's the last place on earth I want to go."

"Oh come on Em's." Katie looked her sister in the eyes. "Please. For me. I've made all the arrangements. Freddie is going to be my date, and J.J has offered to take you."

Emily started to crumble. She could see how much this meant to her sister. Katie saw the moment of weakness and continued.

"It'll be good for us Em's. Help us get that bond back yeah?" Katie asked hopefully.

Emily sighed then nodded her agreement slowly.

"Yes, yes, yes. I love you. This is going to be so much fun." Katie gathered her sister up in a big bear hug.

"Ok, Ok. Get off me." Emily giggled, shoving her sister away. "But on one condition."

"What?"

"That if at any point, I decide I'm not having fun." Emily held her sister's gaze. "You have to let me go home, no questions asked, no hassle. Promise?"

Katie smiled and her hand out to Emily.

"Pinky swear." The elder twin asked.

"Pinky swear." Emily confirmed, linked fingers with her sister.

"Right then, we need to get shopping and fast before tomorrow." Katie said frantically. "Go get your stuff and be ready to leave in 10 okay?" She pushed her sister out of the room.

"Alright bossy." Emily answered back. She headed downstairs to get herself ready, knowing that it was going to be a long, long day.


	15. Pipe Dreams

A.N. Hey guys. I'm not sure if this chapter came out the way I intended to, but I decided to go with it anyway. Thanks for reading.

Chapter 15 – Pipe Dreams

She watched herself intently in the mirror while straightening her red hair. She practised her happy face, trying out different smiles to see which fitted best.

More like which looked the most convincing.

She was excited about tonight in a way, but something was niggling at the back of her mind. A guilty feeling of sorts but that wasn't just it. Nope it was something else bothering her.

His actions often spoke louder than words, and he would never want _her_ like he wanted Effy. It was obvious. Even her own sister had pointed out what she and everyone else saw. Yet she let him fuck her, over and over again. What else could she do? It was what she had to do get through the day, where she needed to be. The popular one. The desirable one.

'_More eyeliner'. _

She reached over to put on the final touches. To pull herself together. Time to face the music.

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He didn't know why he'd agreed to go through with this. One final show of a united front. But what was the purpose, he did not know. Maybe he just wasn't ready to let her go just yet. He had experienced war before. A real battle. But somehow it did not compare to the battle he was signed up for with his heart and the girl.

They had already planned what they would wear to the ball, weeks in advance. He'd hired a suit. It was too late to pull out now. He wasn't sure if he wanted to.

Conflicting emotions fought away at each other inside his chest. Who would come out on top God only knew. He did know one thing for sure. She would look beautiful and when he knocked on the door and the blonde girl opened it wide his suspicions were confirmed.

And for one moment he didn't try to stop loving her. For one moment, his heart did not hurt.

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He straightened the collar of his purple shirt and sighed. Earlier when he'd gone downstairs to ask his mum if he looked alright, she hadn't replied straight away. Just looked thoughtful for a moment before ruffling his curly hair and smiling tearfully.

'_Such a handsome boy.'_ She whispered even though he knew mums had to say this. She looked proud though and that's all that mattered to him. She was glad he was taking a pretty girl to the dance. Like a normal boy.

He wasn't normal though. And neither was the girl. He wasn't the one she wanted, but for tonight, he would be a substitute. He would play the part of the proud boyfriend. Didn't mind much, really. It was worth it to see his mum smile.

'_If he could see me now.' _The boy laughed to himself. He did miss his friend, wondered where he was and what he was doing. If he was safe. But he knew deep down, life was easier without him here.

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Her wet hair framed her face as she stepped out of the shower. She wiped the condensation away from the mirror. Blinking once she watched her reflection do the same. She wondered what the other girl would be doing tonight. She had always complained about hated dances, had mocked them and the people who attended them.

Yet she had still asked her, knowing she would be denied, but couldn't help herself from just trying. She was sick of fighting for someone who didn't want her back. But still she missed her. Like a part of her had died when she told her she wasn't like her.

That had hurt.

But she was getting on with things, getting on with life, as best she could. For her family's sake. That's why she was going to the ball. She would pretend to have a good time, pretend to enjoy spending time with her sister, pretend that every breath she took didn't hurt.

"Hurry up, you've only got half an hour till we leave." She heard her sister say from the other side of the door.

She sighed deeply. _'Can't be late.''_

_-----------------------------------------------------------_

He lay back on the soft sand and blew out the smoke he had inhaled in a perfect circle. He liked this place, better than fucking Bristol anyway. Yep this was the place to be and he planned on staying. For a while at least. Not like he was leaving anything behind at home.

Yeah he missed his musketeers, but honestly did they miss him? He doubted it and didn't see why he should ever go back there. He could start again here. Where nobody knew his name.

Nobody but her.

She doesn't want to be with him either. They don't talk, they never really have and that's the problem. Never took the time to. Now it was obvious they didn't know each other at all. She pined for someone else, someone who had wanted to get to know her. Not him.

And now he didn't think it would be long till she left him here truly alone. But until she did, he'd wrap his arm around her and lean down and place his lips on hers because at least they had that.

They would always have that.

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Everything's just wrong. He won't look at her even when they're sat so close in the back of the car. He just looks out of the window. She thought things would be okay for a second, when he knocked on the door and smiled at her. But as soon as it came, it went. Back now to the silences and one word answers.

She knew it was her own fault. What she did with Cookie was proper messed up, but she couldn't stop. It was like it weren't really her and she was watching it happen through someone else's eyes. Her mum had always called those kinds of things out of body experiences.

She needed someone to talk to but the only person she had was gone. Eff's gone off with Cook and she don't know if she's ever coming back and was it so wrong that she was jealous of them? Was it wrong if she wasn't sure which one she was more jealous of?

But he looked so nice in his suit and little bow tie. She wanted to kiss him; she wanted to hold his hand. She wanted to love him, but didn't know if she ever really could.

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Yesterday's conversation still didn't sit right, and he had a funny feeling it was all going to get fucked up. He just wanted to do the right thing.

He had gone over to her house to break up with her yesterday. He wasn't the type to use people and it had gone too far. He didn't mean for it to. She'd cried, she was angry and he'd tried to defend himself.

"_Can't you see I'm just trying to make things right?" _

"_You can't"_

He didn't have an answer for her and she knew it.

"_There's nothing I can do to make you want me more than her?"_

His silence was all the confirmation she had needed. She had shouted, wondered why he would do this to her right before the ball. The overwhelming guilt he felt made him agree to still take her. To save face. To pretend.

He had come to realise he was good at pretending.

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They were running out of money. It wasn't fun anymore. It hadn't really been from the start.

Yes the drugs did the trick, lulling her into believing that she wanted to be here with him, away from her friends and in the company of total strangers. It was alright for him, he was a talker and made acquaintances easily. She didn't like to talk and it left her feeling so isolated and alone, only getting worse when the drugs started to wear off. Now they had completely run out too.

She needed to wash. She didn't feel clean here. Even when she showered in the motel the feeling of being on the run couldn't be scrubbed from her skin. Sometimes she almost cringed at night when he touched her, but gave in to the advances, because at least it made her feel something.

Sometimes she imagined someone else was doing the touching. A boy with beautiful brown eyes. But then she would think '_Please__ god anybody but him.' _Thinking of him only made the hurt worse.

She wanted to go home.

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'_She'd be getting ready now.'_

If only she hadn't been so stupid and time after time hurt the one person she cared most about. She had been thinking recently about the first time the other girl had kissed her. When her sister had caught them. She remembers being so mad at Emily for not admitting the truth about who had kissed who. Not about telling her sister the truth, but admitting it to _herself._

And now it seems the shoe was on the other foot. Now it was Emily who wanted _her_ to tell the truth. Admit how _she _felt. Admit they had _something_ together.

Maybe she was exactly like Emily after all.

And that was it. She was _just_ like Emily. She was a stupid fucking idiot to even think she wasn't. The lie she had told felt bitter on her tongue. She had to tell her the truth, even if it didn't change one single thing. Emily had to know.

She pulled the tartan dress from its hangar, where she'd been looking at it for the last 15 minutes. It was now or not at all. Before she chickened out. Before she waited long enough to talk herself out of it.

Finally, it was time.


End file.
